My dad passed away at the beginning of August. It was expected and it was at home and, all things considered, was no more and no less than what one would expect from the death of one’s ailing father. One’s Favorite dad.

It was hard. And it’s harder yet to write about it. But I haven’t written anything else either, because all the little things I might mention are dammed up behind that event and it isn’t honest to leave out this biggie.

It’s easy for me to believe that my dad who had Parkinson’s disease and congestive heart failure passed away. I saw him just a few hours before he died, and he was miserable. Harder is the realization that my quietly smiling, chuckling dad has gone. My soft-spoken, introverted, book-in-hand dad with the ticklish feet is gone. My dad who, whenever asked for a five, would press a folded twenty into my hand. Who loved my dogs and husbands and kid and who turned the car around for my forgotten purse a million times.

And a million other sweet memories. I had a good dad. That makes me one of the luckiest women I know.

5 Responses to “”

  1. 1 Mernie October 12, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Love you!! still having dermas that Dad’s sitting in the corner watching his girls quilt. Or how hard he was working at drumming, which he wasn’t very good at. My friend called him “polyrythmic” in the nicest tone—Living life juicy. I remember square dancing with him when you were a little girl. He actually really loved to dance, did you know?

    I feel like his body betrayed him in the end. That he wanted to live to be a hundred and tried to be fit and then—the indignities of getting old and decripit.

  2. 2 Mernie October 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

    oops fix that to say dreams for me would you?

  3. 3 painted fish studio October 12, 2011 at 10:57 am

    wonderfully written, sara. he sounds amazing, and i’m so sad for you.

  4. 4 smoothpebble October 12, 2011 at 11:48 am

    my thoughts are with you sara! …”all the little things are dammed up behind that… a million sweet memories”. this is beautifully written and i hope it helps to know that you have friends sitting with you in your grief.

  5. 5 Maria October 15, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Oh Sara! *hugs*
    How I lost track of you I’m not sure but I’ve re-added your blog to my reader so I hope it doesn’t happen again.
    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, but I’m happy for you that you had such a wonderful father.
    I’m going to be in Islamorada for the winter holidays–if you’re still on your island I’d love to see you. 🙂

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